What Do Others Think You Do?
The kids were just off for Martin Luther King Day and my husband, who is a teacher, had to go in for an institute day. I had a pretty intense day leading 3 new clients as they developed a plan for their business in the Magnify Your Marketing program. As the course finished, I went right into two coaching sessions with some other clients. By the end of the day, I was mentally exhausted. Fortunately, I didn't have to go out in the cold or add time for travel since the class was held in my home and the sessions were done over the phone. When my husband came home, my oldest son, who was up in his room all day, said "I'm so sorry you had to work all day dad." I looked at him and said, "Really? What about me? Aren't you sorry I had to work too?" He looked very surprised and said "No mom. You were having fun hanging out with your friends. I heard you laughing all day." I look at him puzzled and annoyed. Feeling bad, he came behind me and massaged my neck. Then he said, "I'm sorry you had a rough day too mom."
I find myself frequently getting annoyed at the people close to me who appear to think I do nothing all day. As I talk to other entrepreneurs, I realize I'm not the only one who experiences this. My default is to be triggered and to think they don't realize I have responsibilities like others who work a job. As I reflect on the interaction with my son, though, I think I'm finally starting to get it.
Yes you work, but you don't "work"..........My son obviously knew I was doing things all day and that they were related to the business. What he also knows is that there isn't much effort in my work because it is something that I enjoy and comes with ease. How cool is it that I am able to share my talents with others and have fun while doing it. It's even cooler to see I've created a culture in my family where my children see it and can admire it.
Your business is flexible.......Well yes it is. That's what I wanted and why I built the business in the way I did, right? I built it so I can help take a family member to the doctor during the day or go to an event at the kids school if I want to. I've told them that if they need me I can be there. So why am I getting triggered when they finally ask? Probably because I'm upset with myself because I want to be there for them but can't because I 'slacked off'' at some point. Now, I 'have to' do something that could possibly have been put off if I had been better at staying on task.
Why are you working all the time?......Well because my job is flexible. I can take a week off to go have fun with family. I can also work remotely if I need to take off during the day. The truth is, just because I can work remotely doesn't mean I should. I need down time and my business and clients need me to have it so so that I can be my best for everyone. My family also needs me to be present for them when I'm off as much as my clients need me to be present when I'm working. If I'm going to take time off, I should do everything I can to be present with those I'm with instead of focused on the business.
Really, it comes down to proper planning and being strategic and intentional so that you can be successful, not just in business but in your life as well. For many of us, we do what we do in our business to have fun and enjoy life. Let's step back and be sure that all the things we do are bringing us that same joy that my son observed in me while I was working with my clients. To do that, we need to: 1) delegate the things that don't bring us that joy and 2) put an end time on our work hours so we can have time to build ourselves back up. The best way to get started is to build a plan like my clients were doing yesterday. Or, if you're not ready to build an entire plan, to take baby steps with my book "Be Strategic, Be Intentional, Be Successful."