What are you noticing?
Times like we’re currently living in are perfect opportunities to take notice. What do your default patterns seem to be? What makes you feel happy and fulfilled? What stresses you out? When you do ____ what happens as a result? How do others show up and are they really the type of people you want to be around? The list could go on and on.
For me, this current state of affairs has provided the opportunity to retreat inward and to enjoy time with Scott and the kids….something we don’t often get to enjoy due to our busy schedules. The chambers and networking groups that I’m a part of have been going out of their way to ensure they provide an outlet for their members to connect during this time of isolation. Although many people have hopped onto these meetings, filling their calendars as they normally would, I haven’t gotten on any. That may seem odd for someone involved in so many groups who appears to be an extrovert. However, it really isn’t. And as I sit here and type, I realize the same has been true for my oldest Zach. He, too, has not hopped onto any zoom calls with his classes and instead has opted to answer discussion questions in their place. I couldn’t understand that until I just started writing this blog. You see, although we are both extroverts, we also have times of being introverts and just want a chance to be still, alone and away from the rest of the world. Away from the pressures of needing to be ‘on’ and being that bright light for others. Don’t get me wrong, we both live and thrive on that aspect of our lives during normal times, but sometimes just need a break. Our current state of affairs has provided us with that gift and seems we’re both gravitating toward it.
Now please, misunderstand what I’m saying here. I’m NOT saying it’s wrong to fill your schedule and be on tons of meetings or to be on social media a lot. Instead, I’m saying what’s “right” and “wrong” for each person is different. It really has to do with what’s in alignment with your world and your goals. A person with adult children living either alone or with their spouse, or a person who has kids and is raising them without a spouse, may gravitate toward online meetings and social media in an effort to have connection with the outside world during what can be a long, boring and/or stressful time.
The key to knowing what is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ for you is to pay attention to what you are noticing and how those things make you feel. Then, to assess next steps based on your personal and business goals. So, what have I been noticing during this time and how has what I’ve noticed changed my day to day actions based on my business and personal goals?
Default patterns- for me, my default pattern seems to be ‘checking up on others’ and making sure they are progressing as planned. This is a HUGE strength for my coaching business as it’s an asset to my clients. However, it’s a huge annoyance to Scott and the boys who have been confined at home with me during the recent COVID-19 Shelter-In-Place Orders.
It’s also a deterrent to getting my own stuff done. Fortunately, I hired an assistant a year ago and she’s awesome at doing the many things that need to be done in my business. This frees me up to do a lot less of the time consuming things and also prevents me from holding things up. During this stay-at-home time, we have gone through periods of connecting each day and going days without connecting. What we’ve noticed is that the default pattern for both of us is to be more productive when we start our day together. We also noticed that when going days without connecting, we both were getting into a rut from not having the interaction of others that we are used to. As a result of our noticings, and after reflecting on our business and personal goals, we’ve decided that we will be meeting at 9am each morning moving forward. This helps accomplish the business goals of moving forward on tons of projects and helps our personal goals of being in positive states of mind. Another personal goal is to stop in the afternoon to enjoy time with our husbands who are done working. Getting up early and connecting at 9am helps us finish earlier so we can be with them.Happiness and Fulfillment- what makes me happy and fulfilled is quality time with family and friends, whether it’s structured activities or just hanging out doing nothing but being around each other. I noticed this awhile back and as a result of the noticing, I structured my business intentionally to meet this personal goal while also ensuring I can meet business goals. One thing I did with the structure was to bring on an assistant so my work load could decrease and give me more time with family. Another thing was to look at my services and structure what I was offering to meet my goals and the needs of my clients. One example of that is my private coaching. I used to offer 3 calls per month and now offer two. This cuts down my time each week tremendously and gave my clients a lower rate for private coaching. It also gave them more time to do things between calls.
Stress- What stresses me out is social media. It really does. It also puts me in a depressed mood. If we look back at my default pattern above, you’ll remember one of my patterns is to “check up on others”. At the start of our shelter-in-place orders, I was on social media constantly. My goal was simple, see how everyone I knew was doing and how they were handling this new way of being. After a few days I realized that being on there so often was more stressful than helpful to me. I also started feeling bad because I noticed that some people thrived by being on social media and loved it. Why wasn’t I like them I’d wonder? What was wrong with me? The fact of the matter was that nothing was wrong with me, social media was not a tool that was supporting my personal and business goals. One of my business goals, however, is to stay present for clients. My Facebook group is the place I provide coaching to many of my clients. So, unfortunately, I need to be present there daily. The challenge is to be present there without being drawn in for endless hours in other places. To accomplish this challenge, I try to go in there once or twice a day.
Sleep- When I stay up late, I sleep late. Seems like common sense. Right?! You’d think. However, when I was younger I used to stay up late and then get up early and be so productive. The eventual result was chronic migraines and other negative health issues including snapping at other constantly. I’ve learned that I need to trust in the fact that God gives us 24 hours in a day for a reason and that we need to take care of ourselves first, then do the rest. So, earlier on I mentioned that my assistant and I wanted to start work early in the day to finish early in the day. I’ve noticed that my body doesn’t do well with less than 7 hrs of sleep, so to get up by 6am, I need to be asleep by 11pm. Unfortunately, most nights lately we’re just finishing up family stuff that late and then I unwind by doing the thing that stresses me out- scrolling Facebook for hours. So, now I’m up later and can’t get up early as planned and I’m stressed from the volume of things I saw on Facebook. Additionally, my work day ends later than planned and we start dinner and family time later. Which then leads us being up late again and the vicious cycle starting all over. Looking at my noticing and my business and personal goals, I decided to make a rule that there is no screen time after 10pm.
So, there you have it, many of my noticings from our recent stay-at-home order. I’m excited about the things I’m able to notice and learn about myself and my habits during this time. I’m also excited about the new beginnings that will come out of this COVID-19 crisis as a result of my taking time to be still and notice. I’d love to know, what have you been noticing and how are you using what you’ve noticed to adapt your life based on your business and personal goals?