Changing Traditions

Another holiday weekend during pandemic times has passed.  I find myself reflecting on how many of our traditions have had to change.  Last week was supposed to be the first time that the famous Ribfest was going to be held in my hometown, Romeoville, Illinois.  There was tons of excitement about the many concerts and great food that was going to be right in our own town.  As sad as missing that is, it’s even sadder that this huge event raises money for many non profits in the area.  During a time of great need by many, those donations would have really helped them. Although we didn’t have ribs and concerts, we did have fireworks which sadly is not something everyone can say. Our town got quite creative and did 3 shows at the same time throughout the village while matching the show to music on a local radio station.  This was a first to be done in a suburb and the Village got a lot of press around it, which is really cool! Everyone was able to sit in their yards to watch and not have to worry about driving somewhere.  My brother's yard faces one of the show locations.  We had tons of fun hanging out over there with family and friends!

The most noticeable changed tradition, which can be seen throughout the U.S., is the graduation ceremony.  Both colleges and high schools across our country had to celebrate and say goodbye to their students in a different way.  The same can be said for middle schools, elementary schools, kindergarten classes and preschools.  To ensure the safety of our families and communities, they all needed to make adjustments.  Many waited as long as they could to make final decisions, hoping our state of current affairs would shift.  But to their dismay, that didn’t happen and as they say, the show just had to go on.

My oldest son, Zach, was a high school senior this year.  Needless to say many of the things he’d hoped and dreamed of throughout his four years of high school didn’t come to fruition.  This was crushing for him at first and had effects my husband and I didn’t even realize.  What we didn’t realize even more was how much it impacted me as a mom.  As many of my readers may know, Zach is very active in school and I as a mom am very involved in volunteering and supporting his teachers and friends.  For 4 years I sat there enjoying many end of year traditions where we said goodbye to our seniors.  Each time I fast forwarded to when Zach would be there and we’d be celebrating him and his friends.  Those moments, like many others, were taken from us.  The hardest for me was something that couldn’t be replicated- seeing/hearing his small group of choral friends sing at their graduation ceremony.  ​

We went through the various stages of the grieving process early on and by mid-May, when we realized all hope was finally gone for our “normal” way of ending the school year, we moved into the final stages of grief.  The blessing in this is that we were able to move forward and get excited for the blessings in this unique role in history we all were about to play. 
I’m excited to say that his school district, VVSD 365U in Romeoville, IL, hit a home run and did an AMAZING job celebrating it’s students.  They went with the drive thru approach and the students were able to get out of their cars at the end and walk across a stage while their names were announced.  We had a birds eye view as our car was the only one there watching him in front of the stage.  While we watched from the car, the rest of our extended family was able to watch in the comfort of their homes via livestream.  The day before the ceremony we had fun decorating the car in a creative way.  One of the unique things we did was take a bunch of Zach’s shirts from his yrs in HS and string them on a clothesline across the side of the car.  Additionally, my husband created a giant graduation cap that we put on the roof of the car.  My niece and nephew have a jeep so we borrowed that, which was a great decision because we were able to stand up throughout the ceremony.

Once we pulled onto the RHS campus we followed a path that had us pass through a couple of different parking lots. Waiting throughout the path were teachers sitting outside their cars with their own decorations cheering the graduates and their families on. There were also huge signs of encouragement posted on fences along the way.  We drove at a very slow pace with music blaring in the car (which Grandma just loved) and waved at teachers and fellow classmates we passed along the way.  Grandma, who was driving the car, did encourage him to turn down the music repeatedly.  At one point he chose to play songs from his childhood, like Barney, which Grandma enjoyed more than his usual selection of music.  I think she especially enjoyed it because he and his cousin were singing to the childhood songs just like they used to when she watched them together as preschoolers.  After the final turn, graduates were able to get out of the car and walk along a path with letters as tall as them.  The letters  spelled out “Seniors 2020” and were a great backdrop for our pictures.  At the end of the words was the stage that he walked across where we, and family watching at home, heard his name read and saw him toss his cap.  He exchanged words with the principal as he got back into the car and we drove under a really cool sign that signified his entry into the world as a graduate. The visual was great and very similar to driving

 into and out of the Disney Parks, as well as the feeling that went along with it.  There was one last sign we passed as we began to exit the school.  His good friend happened to be 2 cars behind us so we broke the rules and had them get out and take a photo together.  As the sign was long and they were 6 ft apart, and the rule was only graduates could exit the car,  I suppose the rule breaking wasn’t so bad.  It was totally worth having a photo of him with one of his friends on campus on graduation day.  Almost a couple of weeks after the drive thru ceremony, the school released a video with speeches from the Valedictorian, principal and others making it the final culmination of all things graduation.
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We had so much fun driving along that path, celebrating with our son.  Although it wasn’t at all what we had expected, and all our past visions of what a high school graduation would be like didn’t come to fruition, it really was a phenomenal way to end his high school days.
  
Birthdays are another thing that had to change, as did holidays like Easter and Mother’s Day, weddings, golfing, shopping and our weekly practice of going to church.  As I reflect back on all these changing traditions I wonder what life will look like a year from now.  Will we go back to what always was, or will we as a community, rise to the opportunity to live life and celebrate a little differently than we have for so many, many years before.

Driving thru and being cheered on while being with your family was definitely more fun than sitting in a gym or football field packed into closely spaced chairs having to quietly listen to speeches and hundreds of names be called. The thing that was missed was talking to friends and their families before and after the ceremony and getting photos of them together on campus in their caps/gowns, as well as seeing each kid cross the stage who you’ve watched grow up for years before.  This could easily be created/coordinated by having an overflow lot to park/meet before the drive thru and another to stop/meet after with the live streamed show being broadcasted in each lot.  Once we’re in past Covid times, being next to each other again shouldn’t be a huge concern.  The speeches also could be played via a QR code on the program that was passed out when we entered and we could watch on our phones in the car, or they could be played on big screens as we pass by with a radio station dedicated to playing the sound.  The options of taking this concept to the next level are endless, especially when administrators and students can plan them with more certainty and less restrictions, paired with more time.  Although as I type all that, I sit back and think of the nostalgia that comes with everything and the little things that you miss when you break away from all the traditional ways of doing graduation. I’m honestly not really sure how I’d prefer to proceed in future years. Fortunately, I’m not the one who gets to make those decisions.  So I suppose I’ll just sit back and wait for it all to unfold, knowing that whatever happens it won’t be the end of the world if things change…..and could possibly be even better than I had imagined.  How have you personally experienced changing traditions and what did you like or not like about the changes?  Comment below, we’d love to hear!